Astrid's Post: Paris/ Versailles Day 8

This morning we woke up relatively early to take a train out to the Palace of Versailles. Upon arriving, we walked through the town to the public gardens which is almost entirely shaded by the canopies of massive trees that are planted all over the place. Not only was this area wonderfully cool, but it was aesthetically pleasing as well due to the fact that the branches of many of the trees are meticulously groomed so that they look rectangular. While I was standing to the side appreciating the much-needed shade, Dad had his nose about an inch from a map of the grounds in an attempt to determine where exactly we could enter the part of the gardens that Versailles is famous for. After approximately 5 minutes of examining the map, he suddenly looked up and we followed him over to a "guard" standing in front of one of the gates leading to the palace gardens. Although this was in fact a legitimate entrance (and we had these fancy museum passes), the dude refused to let us into the gardens and sent us all the way around the perimeter of the property to the main entrance to the palace. Now, I learned a lot of crap in high school social studies, including the fact that the land that Versailles sits on is freaking huge. At the time I learned this I kind of filed that information away in the "random shit I don't need to know for a test" category of my brain and subsequently forgot about it. However, as we made our way all the way around Louis XIV's land, that tidbit of information came back to me and I realized that I never actually thought about how large this piece of land actually is. Honestly, with the size of this place I am not at all surprised that the royalty that lived there travelled around the gardens in carriages. After walking all the way around the perimeter of the grounds (and, later in the day, through the gardens), I would like to personally apologize to King Louis for calling him "super freaking lazy" in reference to his decision to avoid physical activity at all costs. After seeing how large the place is firsthand, I can say that if I ever return I am bringing a horse with me. Or a private jet. Depends how rich I am. Anyways, we eventually arrived at the front of the palace gates and I almost died when I saw how many people were standing in line to get in. I mentioned earlier that we have Paris Museum Passes, and for a lot of venues (ex. the Louvre), they allow the holder to skip the line and enter the attraction in no time flat. Dad went up to someone working near the front of the line and asked if our passes would allow us to skip the line. He was pretty pissed off when he found out that we spent extra cash on these passes and they would only let us skip the ticket line which was only half an hour long. Disgruntled, he led us to the back of the line where we commenced our 2 hour and 10 minute wait to get into Versailles. At this time it was about 11:30am and the sun was already blazing. It definitely didn't help that we had to stand on dark cobblestones the entire time with no shade anywhere to be seen. So, out came our umbrellas and we prepared to stand there for a million years. Side note: if you are planning on visiting Europe in the summer, make sure to bring an umbrella, especially if you are going somewhere hot... Mine has saved my pale ginger ass countless times this trip as well as on our last trip 2 years ago. About 45 minutes into our wait, Britta said that she had to pee really bad so she and dad ventured into the town to find a bathroom and something for all of us to eat and drink. While they were gone, Signa and I thought, what better to do in Europe than people-watch? I decided to watch the people directly in front of us first. It was a family of three, and the mom was holding her arm up by her face to block the sun. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that she had probably never shaved her armpits in her entire life. Long, wispy black hairs were gently moving back and forth in the slight breeze. I gagged a little bit and, naturally, plunged my hand into my purse to grab the camera. I took advantage of the zoom feature to get a beautiful shot of her underarm hair. I have attached the image at the bottom of this post for your viewing pleasure. Finally Britta and Dad returned from their expedition with Orangina and pain au chocolat/ muffins in hand. Obviously I couldn't eat the pastries, but I always come prepared so I ate a Nutella sandwich and a granola bar that I brought along. Honestly, part of the reason I'm not a huge fan of travelling is because my allergy is like the biggest inconvenience in the world. We waited in line for a while longer and FINALLY entered the courtyard in front of the palace after clearing security. One of the first things I noticed about both the interior and exterior of the building was the insane amount of gold that is literally EVERYWHERE. There is gold on the gates, picture frames, furniture, baseboards and on pretty much anything else you think you might find in a palace. I wouldn't even be surprised if Louis XIV wiped his ass with sheets of gold leaf. If I had even a fraction of that amount of gold I could go to any university I wanted to, no matter how unreasonably expensive. 40 grand a year? Not a problem! One of the weirdest things I learned from the audio tour we did was that nobility and other "curious spectators" would frequently sit in the same room as the Louis XIV and Marie Antoinette while they were eating dinner in order to observe. This is essentially the original version of Us Weekly's 'Stars-- They're Just Like Us!' Except instead of hiding in bushes to snap pictures of them getting their groceries, they were nosy in a far more obvious fashion. After completing the audio tour of the palace, we headed outside to tour the gardens. As we were walking down towards the main body of water (not sure what it's called), Britta says to me, "Look at those 2 people banging each other!" This statement caught my attention and I began frantically looking around in an attempt to catch a glimpse of this spectacle. She then pointed out that she was simply referencing a statue and exclaimed, "This is not the Calgary Stampede, Astrid!" We continued walking towards the water and rented 2 canoes for 45 minutes. Britta, Signa and I went in one canoe and Mom and Dad took the other so they could drink champagne the whole time without us interrupting. The other 2 voted that I be the one to row because of my upper body strength... I don't know where they got that idea because my arms really aren't that strong. Regardless, I grabbed the oars and prepared to pretend to know what I was doing. This plan would've gone flawlessly if it hadn't been for the fact that when the employee pushed us away from the dock he directed us towards other canoes that were moored rather than out towards the middle of the lake. I started to panic a little bit because I was unable to use the oars without hitting other boats. I struggled for a little while, and on shore there was a couple eating ice cream and laughing at me, which just made me freak out even more. In the end, I switched places with Signa (the one who has actually been training all summer) and managed to push us away from the other canoes a little bit so Signa could actually utilize the oars. While this struggle was happening, Mom and Dad simply glanced at us and rowed away to the other end of the lake to enjoy their alcohol instead of trying to help us out. Thanks for that. We finally managed to get away from the other boats (and the couple who were hardcore judging me), and I must say that I quite enjoyed watching Signa slave away rowing while I laid back and relaxed. Once our 45 minutes was up, we left Versailles and decided to head back to Paris to eat dinner because all of the restaurants in Versailles that didn't cost a fortune were closed until 7pm. We ate by the Sacre Coeur church and then went to walk around the artist's square. Britta spent forever looking at the artwork and when we finally left I was more than ready for bed. PEACE.